15 Ways to Be Gentle with Yourself
For years, I believed that being strong meant pushing through no matter what. I didn’t ask for help. I took pride in being able to handle it all—career, family, work responsibilities—without skipping a beat. I was the one who got things done, who showed up, who didn’t quit. But somewhere along the way, I realized something: I was so busy proving my strength that I forgot to enjoy my life and the people in it. And to be honest, I was exhausted mentally and physically! As a result of what I have learned, today I am going to share 15 ways to be gentle with yourself.
Find More Joy in Everyday Life
As I look back, I wasn’t resting, I was running on fumes. I wasn’t present, I was distracted. I wasn’t truly thriving—I was just making it through. And I don’t want that for you.
I’ve learned that to be gentle with yourself isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. It’s knowing that life is meant to be lived, not just endured, or a series of boxes to check off. It’s choosing joy over burnout, presence over perfection, and peace over constant striving.
These small shifts have helped me experience more joy, ease, and connection in my daily life over the past few years. I hope these 15 ways to be gentle with yourself will do the same for you.
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15 Ways to Be Gentle with Yourself
1. Speak to Yourself Like Someone You Love
Think about how you talk to your best friend when she’s struggling. Do you call her lazy? Weak? Not good enough? Of course not.
Now think about how you talk to yourself. Would you ever speak to someone you love that way?
Another way to look at it–how would you speak to a child? Reframe your self-talk as if you are speaking to a child (your inner child). Instead of being harsh, you would likely speak with compassion, patience and love.
Start paying attention to the words you use with yourself. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Replace self-criticism with kindness, grace, and encouragement.
2. Rest Your Way
We’ve been conditioned to believe that rest is something we have to deserve. That we can only slow down once we’ve checked every box on our to-do list.
Reframe your thinking!
Rest isn’t a reward. It’s a basic human need. You don’t have to hustle for it. You don’t have to earn it. You are allowed to rest simply because you are human. Build in time to rest and pad your schedule so that you aren’t rushing and doing “something” all the time. Respect that your mind and body need time to rest, shift, and process life. Don’t pack your calendar to the brim. Leave room for respite.
Read up on Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith’s 7 types of rest. I highly recommend the book!
3. Choose Ease
Yep, I said it. I look for the easy way out now! There is no shame in it. There are things that I am finally able to admit that I don’t like and that I don’t want to waste energy on. I am in my “take it easy” era. 🙂
I don’t enjoy cooking. I don’t enjoy cleaning. I don’t enjoy grocery shopping. I love books, but I won’t read a paper book. So, some days I drink a smoothie for dinner instead of cooking. I hired someone to clean my house. I order groceries online and either pick them up or have them delivered. I listen to Audible, rather than purchase books.
There you have it! I could go on! I take the easy route on some things to save my energy to do the things that I absolutely love doing and want to do. BAM! Proudly pick your own easy.
4. Stop Apologizing for Being Yourself
Do you ever find yourself shrinking, over-explaining, or apologizing for things that don’t need an apology?
“Sorry I’m so emotional.”
“Sorry for talking too much.”
“Sorry for taking up space.”
You don’t have to apologize for being who you are.
Own your personality. Your voice. Your feelings. You are not too much or not enough. You are simply you—and that is enough.
5. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Saying “no” is not selfish. Protecting your time and energy is not mean. You are not responsible for managing other people’s expectations at the cost of your own well-being.
And on the flip side of “no”, is “yes”. Say “yes” to things that are important to you–that will save you from having to say “no”. 😉 You are also being gentle with yourself when you say “yes”!
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you care about yourself too.
6. Allow Yourself to Feel Without Fixing It Immediately
Not every emotion needs a solution. Sometimes, you just need to sit with your feelings, honor them, and let them exist.
7. Eat, Move & Rest in Ways That Feel Good—Not Just “Right”
Forget diet rules, workout regimens, and productivity hacks that don’t work for YOU. Listen to your body. Nourish it in ways that feel good to you. Move because it brings you joy, not because you “have to.” Rest because you need it, not because you’ve earned it.
We touched on rest above. I will also add here to resist the urge to rush–move at a natural pace. Trying to pack 2 days worth of tasks/errands into one day is not healthy and isn’t sustainable. Everything doesn’t need your immediate attention (email/text messages/voicemails)! 😮💨
8. Release the Need for Perfection in the Everyday
Your home doesn’t have to be Pinterest-perfect. Your to-do list doesn’t have to be done.
Productivity does not define your worth. Your joy does.
9. Give Yourself Permission to Change
You don’t have to stay the same just because that’s who you’ve always been. Growth is beautiful. Give yourself permission to evolve and change, without feeling like you have to explain yourself or “make it make sense” to others.
10. Accept Compliments Without Deflection
The next time someone compliments you, don’t downplay it or brush it off. Just say, “Thank you.” And believe it. That’s it!
11. Celebrate Small Wins Like They’re Big Deals (Because They Are)
Small steps count. Honor your progress—even the tiny, unglamorous wins.
12. Let Go of Comparison—Your Journey Is Yours Alone
Comparison steals joy. Someone else’s success doesn’t take away from yours. Focus on your own path.
13. Stop Forcing Relationships That Drain You
If a relationship consistently leaves you feeling exhausted instead of supported, it’s okay to step back. Remember friendships have seasons–accept that seasons change and so do friendships.
14. Find Joy in Simple, Imperfect Moments
Happiness isn’t in a future achievement. It’s in your morning coffee, a conversation with a stranger, a delicious meal that you threw together. Be present for those moments.
15. Create Your Own Rules
Being gentle with yourself means giving yourself permission to redefine what works for you. Maybe success isn’t about climbing the corporate ladder—it’s about finding work that lights you up. Maybe a clean house doesn’t mean spotless—it means lived-in and full of love. Maybe self-care isn’t bubble baths—it’s protecting your peace by saying “no” more often. Maybe everybody’s wearing baggie 90’s jeans, but you like structured trousers with hoodies–wear what suits YOU.
When you stop trying to fit into someone else’s expectations and start living by your own—you create space for joy, ease, and a life that actually feels good to live.
The Joy of Being Gentle with Yourself
For so long, I thought toughness was my superpower. Now, I know the real superpower is kindness and compassion—starting with myself.
Being gentle with yourself doesn’t mean you stop striving for greatness or lower your standards. It means you stop tying your worth to grinding and exhaustion. It means you embrace relaxation, joy, ease, and a life that actually feels good to live. Don’t mistake denying yourself pleasure and goodness for strength. Real resilience comes from finding joy, even after facing struggles.
So take a deep breath. Release the pressure. And be gentle with yourself. Drop in and tell me how it’s going for you. Remember it’s a journey. Take the first, small step and you’re on your way…
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